CCCC 5/11/04

Dear recipients of the bimonthly newsletter for the CCCC:

Hello, fellow crop circle creators. It seems our attempts for the past two weeks have had a good deal of success. Many naive individuals have bought into our hoax. I must pay my thanks and personal respect for the individuals to make this possible. To the worker known as bigdaddy, your work for the past two weeks has shown most exhilarating. To the one known as bdrudolph, I throw foul carcasses in your direction, as you wish to undermine our corporation. And, my personal favorite, I must pay my respect to pburton, whose efforts ended last Tuesday with the event of his unfortunate and unanticipated death. Each individual in the CCCC is a vital part, as you well know from our mission statement. I just wanted to encourage each of you and tell you to keep up the good work. Except, of course, for pburton, who is no longer with us, but is in fact nonexistent.

The latest piece of news comes from a movie that has gained expressive popularity among the world's public hoax believers. As you know, Mel Gibson used a good portion of his own money to produce a film called “The Passion of The Christ”. Now, I personally don't support this film, as it sprouts anticropcircleism and is biased against the notion of the blind leading the blind. In fact, I had read the book and didn't like it very much, so I decided to protest with picket and gaping banner reading "The CCCC is boycotting The Passion; SO SHOULD YOU!" And it had a very dramatic effect on people as I saw them leaving the theatre in tears of regret after rebelling against my words of wisdom.
Now, the reason I brought this entire flank of news up is that people, having liked the Passion (despite my protest), are buying copies of Mel Gibson's earlier movie, “Signs”. And, as you know, it has very much to do with crop circles. It has also been colossally supportive of our efforts to blind the eyes of the witless public and convince them that crop circles are actually real and delicately created from alien craft. This is exactly what are efforts are about: deceiving the unwary-eyed public. However, I do think Mel Gibson has undergone a serious change of heart in the span of one year, having converted his beliefs of favoring crop circles to anticropcircleism. I spit at his intellect which is higher than the average unsuspecter.

News of a new and ecstatic project: We have recently come across a downed experimental craft from the government and salvaged it, after applying anti-tracking devices on it, and therefore have access to a hovering craft resembling a UFO. We plan to hire retired workers at secret military facilities and have them work on the craft to make it operable, as long as they retain mobility. We also plan to fly it above numerous populous cities of the world, including New York City of the US, Baghdad, Iraq; Moscow, Russia; Beijing, China; Paulua, Kenya; Colinisia, Antarctica, and enumerated more.

But even though this exciting new chance to bind the public's information processors heightens our imagination and excitement, I remind you not to forsake the eloquent art of crop circle fabrication, which still remains our highest priority. Continue to wear the stealthing suits, or the new alien costumes if you wish (available at http://www.antiabortionsigns.com/). Also, do treat the corn pressers with care, as if they were your offspring. They are expensive and difficult to replace without drawing too much attention to our cause.

Well, fellow unindignifaries, this latest report must come to an end, as must our cause some day in the long, far off future, but perhaps not until human colonization of other worlds. Continue to sow your seeds of lies and deceit, and never forsake your first love: the cause of blinding the eyes of the unsuspecting. While others rest we put their intellect up for grabs, as their mind falls prey to our pillaged plight. Our ultimate goal is to dominate the world, but remember to concentrate on the little things and your individual missions. As for myself, I will continue to provide the support and ultimate care that each of yourselves need. Don't get caught, but if you do get caught, my specialized team of hoax cover-ups will be there to support you. Well, goodbye and good luck with your respective missions.


All across the world sprouting easy-believism and self-willed sanctification,

Dr. Townsmite
Founder and CEO of the CCCC, in establishment since 1948

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