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Friday, April 23, 2004

a premidsummer night's hallucination

4.23.04 Concerning plans for the summer

First of all I want to assure you that none of these plans are concrete, as in solidified conglomerate, but in fact may be referred to as sedimentary, which indeed gets swept away by the current of change. Ohhhh cripe I feel poetic justice coming on...

I tip my hat to the breeze
As the wind steals it from my head
So I scurry like a madman
Try everything I can
Fighting the violent seas and
Swimming through the leaves
The trees are dying
Stripped of their splendor
Tunneling through another winter
But with nail and tooth
Tactics uncouth
I'll fight the winds
To regain a lost emblem of truth

I quickly fall
Not to the ground
But to the sky
As the wind has found
My body like a kite
I'm tossed here and there
Carried by the wind
And nothing is clear
I don't know where I've been
Because everything blends into a shade of gray

But panic I decide not though
Security is swiped from my hands
Someone keeps me caught
From crashing to the land
The winds straighten out
The breeze I thought untamed
Now flows in patterns
I throw off the blame
Now free to fly
Higher than before
Though uncomfortable circumstances
Swept me off the floor

All my efforts, all my wants
Are taken away by breeze astray
But I remain on course
Never by my own will
Sustained by resounding power
Yet calmly soft and still
I see a faint resemblance
Of something dear I lost
It travels closer, closer till
Mine eyes are frost with
Amazement and joy that
Burst out seeing this old hat
It flies upon the very breeze
That I thought stole it from me
Now in the air, without a care,
I realize through all the painful change
My life is better now;
No doubt remains.


Yes. This summer, I plan to slack off. But what sense, precious, what sense? Well, pounds, and responsibilities, precious. Well, perhaps the second one comes more unintentionally than anything else. But we all wrestle with that for sure. Some in lesser degrees. Well, maybe I won't necessarily plan to slack off. That usually comes naturally. Then again, you can plan things that come naturally, like eating. Or planning to drink more water. It just depends what you want the results to be.

But let me get this one point across, whether or not you slack off, resting and taking time to reflect on life's circumstances is a definite positive. No human can constantly work and expect to have the same results. People put so much emphasis on time and the duration of work, but I argue that less time, with more effort and greater time to rest in between, yields better results. But let me get one thing straight: I don't consider watching TV or playing videogames as reflective resting. Resting, well, you could argue that, but your when your mind is disabled from thinking about what has happened over the past week, month, year, optimization is deleted from the list of accessible commands.

Now this is no atkin's attempt at fixing anyone's life for sure. I don't have any professional merits behind my name, and there are just too many things in my life needing fixing to try and tell people how they should live. But I do reserve the right to speak my mind and tell you of my thoughts and my theories. Whether or not you agree is your choice. But this isn't about confrontation or reservations with longtime friends, or arguing over the phone, so let's drop that part of the conversation.

Plans for summer: (and it isn't always bad to "reflect" on the future as well as the past, although we don't know what's going to happen) Well, this could end up being a long list. I'll start by thinking about outdoors activities. There's Creation Festival up north somewhere, not exactly a trek through the woods, but a great experience for sure. But that's a one-time event. One thing I could (and will) do constantly is mountain biking. An extreme rush of adrenaline to the brain and the protein fibres (ask Paul for the details). And there's hiking, another favorite. And then, a more daring possibility, camping out for a few days. Yes sir. That would be a not bad use of one's time, as if you are stealing someone else's bad time and taking it for your own, also inverting the bad to good, because your own time left you when you exited the so-called comfort zone.
And then there's work. I better apply for surveying today, and if that works out, I'll probably be making more money than at Sheetz. And I could still keep my Sheetz job. But that's gonna be very difficult, maintaining two jobs. And having to put my foot down and not let the latter schedule me every friday and saturday night. I deserve better than that, being treated like a ragdoll and thrown here and there wherever they wish. But I also need to become a more upstanding employee if my foot is to hold any authority. Because anyone knows that my authoritY needs to be respected, although I'm a JERKFASCIMILE! But who really knows who that is?

Noone, except a monkey's great-grandmother.
And with that I shall abrubtly end.


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