Revision to The Theory of Smelativity

Dear friends, it grieves me to tell you that some of my calculations for the Theory of Smelativity were in fact flawed. However, a very close colleague of mine has recently submitted some corrections for my theory, and perhaps someday we can work together to form a new scientific law out of our research. I have simply included the text of his letter to me as follows:



"Dear Dr. Donalbain,

It has come to my attention that your calculations are incorrect.

First it is not the quantity of flatulent that is necessary but the concentration of the flatulent [F].

Secondly, the mass of a flea on the person with the perspective is not relevant except in the case you stated in which the equation is raised to the universal truth of life, the universe, and everything. The mass of the flea and the raising to the 42nd power is only necessary if the scenario is taking place in an improbability field. In all other cases the mass of the being expelling the flatulent is necessary. In proper flatulent equations all this does not add up to Dynamite but to the amount of Danger the flatulent poses to lifeforms over a given area.

Here is the proper equation D=(M[F]/A)K .
In this equation D is the danger posed by the flatulent. M is the mass of the individual expelling the flatulent. [F] is the concentration of the flatulent being expelled (100% being the most dangerous although it is possible to create superconcentrated flatulent in a laboratory setting). All of this is divided by the A area that the flatulent can expand into diluting its concentration. All of this is then multiplied by K the kinetic energy used in the release of the flatulent. It is worth noting that there is some correlation between the mass of the individual expelling the flatulent and the kinetic energy involved in its release. There are exceptions to this rule, however, and I do not have time to go into depth.

I hope that you continue your research in this field and that my corrections have been of some assistance.Your Friend,Dr. Felix Kat"



I hope along with my friend Dr. Kat that this new information brings more enlightenment to this area of study. Good night.