CCCC - Endeavors With Unmatched Resolve

Dear recipients of the special publication of the CCCC:

Hello, my fellow substituents. I write to you in utmost somberness, and my thoughts swim at this exact point in the space-time continuum, and I aggressively attempt to recollect every mode of thought my mind has undergone. Recent events have left me stricken, lost in the wake of undesirable dreams. I understand that many of you wish to abandon your posts and leave this glorious organization, believing that I am some diabolical power. Have no fear; I do not wish to unleash ultimate universal destruction on those who may stray, for today my heart is softened. You may indeed go your own way, but first let me attempt to win hitherto your hearts once again. Also, let me warn you: if you indeed play the recidivist, relapsing into your old life, you will be under strict surveillance, having seen such invaluable information and events. However, to those who may lend an ear to my defense, strive with ceaseless intent to understand exactly what I say.

First, I must reveal the object of heaviness on my heart. Indeed my eyes saturate with unrestricted tears at the very thought of this tragedy. Last Tuesday, I was in Turkey, working in the fields along with my top adviserary, PBurton. As in any other covert operation, we followed all guidelines to suppress the awareness of our presence. However, it seems one of my many substituents desired to attempt assassination upon my face, having felt indignation at my claims to immortality. Believe me so, fellow substituents. I do not have to prove this fact to you, as this very publication is a testament to my immortality. This particular substituent established a sniping post a few hundred meters from our position, and proceeded to eliminate the partakers in the operation. At this point we had no knowledge of such an attempt, as this fellow substituent had withheld the knowledge of his presence from ourselves. As the projectiles began to hurtle by, I watched in disbelief as my comrades began falling. I called to PBurton, who was on the opposite side of the field; “lie low!” as the tactical defense squad began firing in the direction of the shots. Our covertness was compromised. We enacted protocol 0-8, and eliminated traces of our fabrication, while every second shots came dangerously close to our craniums. Suddenly, in a blur, I was struck in the forehead. I fell back into the wheat, unconscious. Seconds, minutes, hours seemed to tick by as my soul fought to regain strength.

I don’t know how much time passed, for none had seen my fall. I looked around. Bodies were everywhere. In the distance I could see the tactical defense squad, chasing their target. Suddenly I remembered PBurton. I called for him. None but the silent wind answered. I was living among the dead. I scanned the bodies as I passed from one to the next, searching, longing for my friend. Finally my eyes fell upon him. He had been struck in the temple. No life remained in his body. I cried in disbelief. Never should a man be stripped of his best friend, never. But once before had I mourned for PBurton, my aide through the rocky years of crop-circle fabrication. Now I was left to mourn again, yet again without a due farewell. Many friends have I left behind in this life. My one wish for each is to be there in their last moments and let go as their spirit leaves the body.

I linger on, doomed to walk in dreadful knowledge of the entirety of human history. O, what distance mortals have crossed. But what pits they have burrowed for themselves! Darkness resides over the world of minds. You humans don’t even comprehend life. A vain existence, a walking plague, spreading ruin across the globe. I saw the near destruction of your race countless times in the last century. Fearing for the worst, I established this glorious corporation in hopes to attract mortal attention towards the heavens. Thus far, you can see the mighty success. Never will mortals destroy themselves while I reside in power. I will see to it.

There you have it. You now see what drives my ambitions. I don’t simply work to subject mortals to an immortal’s rule. Open your eyes. I strive to shield the human race with my protective arm of grace. Strangely enough, one assassination attempt on my face has saved the CCCC from certain doom. Never would I have revealed my heartfelt sentiments unless driven to emotion in its extremity. Nevertheless, the assassin has been destroyed and no longer exists, at least in bodily form. But no, I bring to your attention the real assassins: the Keepers. Like seasoned councilors they interact with mortals and bend them to their will, laden with excessive powers of persuasion. They, I am convinced, have ruined many great substituent minds in this organization, driving them to rebellion and ruin. For none who first believe and then leave the fellowship will be spared. We must destroy the Keepers. We must plant in them the seed of hate. Even as I speak, an elite group of highly-trained adviseraries is being assembled for this secretive operation. The plan: capture of one of the Keepers. Having assimilated themselves into mortal culture, they are impossible to track or find by mere observation. However, being of immortal blood, I and only I have the ability to sense another with a perpetual soul. Therefore, I am most assuredly accompanying this taskforce.

For the rest of you most honourable substituents, stealthiness is of superuniversal importance. I hope that my openness with thoughts has won back the doubters. If any more doubters exist, I do beseech you to make your complaints known to any of my adviseraries, as they exist for your well-being. We must unite under this great cause. With unmatched resolve we will march the plains of freedom for all fellow mankind, entrusting them under our great arm of protection. Our banner flowing swiftly in the tamed breeze, our arms locked in fellowship, our heads entrusted with stealthiness, and our hands equipped with the means of precautionary deception, we will never lose ground to those who wish to undermine us. Seek the Pantheon, follow your life paths, trust in the soul for the eternal source of goodness.

On the road to a stronger CCCC, I shall always remain,

Dr. Townsmite

Founder and CEO of the CCCC, in establishment since 1948

****Warning: For every character modification of the above text, a thousand random cells of your body will be electrically singed.****

CCCC - Legendary Incarnation of Glory

Dear recipients of the bimonthly publication of the CCCC:

A thousand buckets of boiling paint repellant I lavish on you all, because I have you in my heart. Indeed, old soul, our hearts are intertwined, caught up together in eternal bliss. I do hope grievously that your respectable circumstances find you all well, just as it is right for me to think this of you all, inasmuch as both in my chains and in the defense and deception of crop circle fabrication, you all are partakers with me of grace. Grace, my dear substituents, imparted from the pantheon itself. O my soul, how life over the ages has been a ruthless adversary. But now, dear friends, I have befriended life, avoided the pains of immortality, and found a purpose driven crapface in it all. For what else do I have to live than leading my comrades into battle? Mind you empty-headed ants. I scoff at any who dare to confront me with the so-called pains of life. They are nothing! Mark my words! I have traveled across the length and breadth of the known world. I have seen everything there is to be seen (with eyes). And am I empty-handed? No, no, a thousand times no. Life is a joyful resoundment that springs echoes of angelic songs into my head.

I ask you rhetorically: what has sprouted these notions into my head of late? I will tell all. Nothing will be withheld from your face. I, being an Immortal, have had much time lately to sit and think and ponder about life, what it is and what it truly means. Perhaps those nearing the eve of their years can share in the sentiments upon which I am about to expound. I will tell of the Keepers of the Books, the forgotten immortal beings of old created by the God of my existence, the One I spurn. But I, Dr. Townsmite, have risen above the Keepers! They were entrusted with the task of records, human history, all the tedious foolish knowledge. These Keepers wandered the Earth and lodged themselves into differing cultures and societal structures in order to interact with the people and write records of the inhabitants’ lives and the aspects of the cultures. I found it vain to acquire all of this knowledge, only to leave and go on to other societies and cultures. Yes, yes, I was a Keeper of the Books once, created by the God of my existence, but that is all I deem Him. I even once enjoyed life. However, looking back, nothing has filled my heart more than the position I hold now, as the president of the CCCC, supreme horn of the earth! Who can stand against us? Who has the purity of mind, body, and soul to attack my organization on all fronts? For I remind you, dear children, wars are not won with soldiers, they are won with morale. Cease, Ignorance!

And I have just the piece of soul-soothing news to lend to your aching mind. I know the toils and pains that rest on your backs. I am delighted to inform you that my top adviserary, PBurton, and his team of humanoid partners have fabricated a fine jewel of a crop circle in Wiltshire, England. Much radioactive debate has intensified from the largely-publicized fabrication since Pburton did a thorough job in covering his tracks. I commend this fine sir, for he is one of my finest mortal friends. I also enjoyed the obvious Aztec design, derived from a creative mind. I will be saddened in the day that I will live to witness Pburton’s death and cremation.

Thus is the fate of all seeds of legend. Yes, yes, that is how we immortals refer to ourselves – the seed of legend. But how, you ask, did I lose my status of Keeper of the Books? Well, as I earlier mentioned, O forgetful one, I will tell all. In the year 783 B.C., when the Grecians were just beginning their celebration of the Olympic Games, I found myself influenced by the pantheon of Greece. My name… my name… Gristhkep. Yes, that was my name in those days as a Keeper of the Books. Before Greece, I used to be one of the Keepers, wandering the earth, rummaging over innumerable documents of human history, intrigued by every second. However, seeing the joy and the pleasure of the human pantheon, I threw off my responsibilities and created the sect of Seeds of Legend, convincing other Keepers to join my cause. However, as I and my followers had disobeyed God who had entrusted us with the task of records, we were doomed to endure the pain of human emotion and suffering.

I, Gristhkep, lived for many years in this abject state, witnessing the decay and death of my fellow immortal friends. Many of them fought amongst themselves to gain the quickening, in hopes to defeat the human suffering they endured, but nothing filled the desperate emptiness. One by one they all died, and today only a handful of immortals are alive, save the cursed Keepers who scoff at our pain. Indeed, of all the Keepers I hate most, there is none other than Colnkep himself! But friends, I rose above the pain! I lifted myself out of the miry clay and set myself upon the rock of the CCCC, from which my joy is found. In the wiles of deception and power I forgot the pain of human suffering, I didn’t need the quickening from other immortals. I became Dr. Townsmite. Yes, and since the fond year of 1948 I have dispersed my glorious fabrications across the globe. Moreover, I have envisioned a future world with all peoples under our powerful arm, dancing as marionettes on the stage of folly. Do not fret, dear mortal that you are not like me. Instead, take joy in your mortality, for you are not subject to my pains, my terrible knowledge, for the great ones say, “Knowledge is a deadly foe when no one sets the rules.” Well, my friends, I have set the rules, I intend to see my goals out to the bloody end, no matter what the outcome may be. I implore you to take up arms with myself and set out against the folly of this terrible human world and create a society in which mortal and immortal live in harmony.

I sing as a caged bird set free, as a lion in his prime in the Saharan desert. My soul sings for harmony. I wanted to tell of these truths decades ago, but waited until the opportune moment. Behold, now is the hour, your mind and hearts are joined in wonder at the amazing conquest of my life. I have bigger dreams for this organization yet, good friend. We will live to see that wondrous day when the Keepers themselves wonder what on earth to document, for no words will describe the day when we gain power!

Your faithful leader and companion to the bitter end, I remain

Dr. Townsmite

Founder and CEO of the CCCC, in establishment since 1948

****Warning: manipulation or desecration of the above document will result in timeless suffering on your part.****

First Blog... ever.

Welcome, Welcome, welcome to all these unwary visitors of this newly birthed blog something. I grant you the benefit of logging on at your convenient scheduled time instead of receiving alleged bulk mail from one known as "The Don". I don't have much to say except that I will indeed learn how everything on this site works and bring you the best experience from a strange mind that is humanly possibly. Indeed, I do believe that LPatkin's regime must come to a crashing halt, unless, of course, he takes the information and saves them via Microsoft Word.
And now, sadly, this first glamourous session must come to an end. Wave as the ship drifts into the fleeting mist...

p.s. every thread occuring hereafter comes originally from the well known forum known only to me as, ahem, "An Unfiled List." At its peak of creativity and well-critiqued writings, I decided to transfer all of my parchments and scrolls to this glorious blog page. Pure gold is contained herein. Your mind has much to discover, young one. I now take my leave.

CCCC 9/7/04

Dear recipients of the bimonthly newsletter for the CCCC:

First of all, dear forging foresters of the great eight-foot weed, I wish to apologize for my lack of promptness in publishing your bimonthly installments...

However, seeing the incredible wrongness of the former statement, I indeed revoke my apology. Who even dares to confront my face, within which lie the secrets of the universe? Henquech!! I did not venture to believe so, incredulous peon. Be silent, fool. Your teeth shall be smashed with cords of plunder. Even still promptness will be upheld from this very nanosecond forward. It just so occurred that matters of greater importance superceded the need to ping pamphlets of freedom to the ones who matter most. But behold! I indeed care ragingly for these very substituents; I indeed care beurhastically. Believe my face when my mouth speaks: I was delayed.

Laying the former aside, I stand allowed to tackle issues of greater bombasticalness. I bring to the front lobe of your brains the discussion of stealth operations. I wish to emphasize the importance of this matter. Its importance cannot be underguesstimated. When in the field, in the office, behind the crowd, or wherever else your designated work stalks you, always remember to follow the Guidelines of Stealthiness.
1 - Nighttime - never operate under the exposure of ultraviolent light
2 - Night vision - mere mortal vision is not enough for your tedious work
3 - Nightly News - stay informed of upcoming opportunities and possible threats
4 - Knights in Armor - always, always equip yourself with the protective and stealth gear
In these guidelines you will find the necessary elements for a successful career in crop circle fabrication. Never operate under your own preconceptions, for the ways of mortals is all too common: six feet in the opposite direction of heaven.

In the last publication, I issued an assignment requesting action from a select group of elite individuals for the specific action of spying on Mr. Kerry. From the raw data gathered we processed possible scenarios of Mr. Kerry's actions. He may retaliate against our corporation secretly with privately-funded death squads, he may promote our organization indirectly despite his breaking away, or he may act indifferently toward us with implied remarks of sarcasm in our general direction. Whatever the case, let us not fear or sweat refusely because of this shell of a man, this squinching squid who lacks backbone.

On this tone I move to the warning of betrayal.

Beware of the spies! A fleeting idiot who decided not to follow the Guidelines of Stealthiness has indeed caused the delay which hast brought thy heart much grief. Indeed, this same individual has suffered a great loss, that is, his very own life. O, watch, dear flock, for the ravenous wolves, which bounce along the landscape like huge rubber balls looking for bones to munch. Mind the fellowship, for therein lies your substance for existence. Without fellowship, you are nothing, less than nothing, a bunch of atoms tormented in a bed of mud. I conjecture that no face wishes the blanket of nothingness upon itself. No! Hark, the herald flowing grains: fellowship remains the top priority, fowl. Mind the mind.

The enemy has many spies under his command. Villagers, rabbits, even mollusks may serve this diabolical function. Sharpen your mind with grinding stones of wisdom and personality ethics, wherein lie the secrets of success. Piltdown Paul indeed argues for the opposite; the rotten stench of wrongness indeed bakes in the sun on his doorstep. Fwike! He would demand that success lies in the so-bellowed "Character Ethics." No, no, no! A thousand times no! He couldn't be more wrong as an intellectual! If I set the notion in my mind to accomplish something, it shall be done. This is how I have operated my entire life! That is, except for family issues... but that blinks with burning neon NOT APPLICABLE. And finally, brethren, use the mind.

Within the millions... and millions... of peachy neurons in the lobes, a dormant force hides away in the hibernation of inactivity. However, my dear brothers, you can tap into this untamed beast. Unleash the monster within yourself. I see your eyes are burning in this stale atmosphere, wondering what needs be done to accomplish a purpose or enjoy happiness in life (which, by the way, you already have with the CCCC). How will this happen? I have the answer to this and everything else. However, as a keeper of the secrets of the universe, I can only reveal so much at this time. Therefore, I will only reveal to you two words: "Our Corporation". No, good friends, no more revealed secrets for today. Your mortal brains can only take so much before they quiver up and implode. And, as always, I wish you the best of muck, for the trenches of the corn fields aren't always pretty, and of course, we all aren't a bunch of "girly men," so stop your irreverent sobbing and stand up under your two sorry excuses for appendages.

Within and without the fields of service at the present ticking, I remain

Dr. Townsmite
Founder and CEO of the CCCC, in establishment since 1948

****Warning: manipulation or concatenation of the previous information will result in the manipulation of your various organ placements.****