CCCC invitation Newog and various others

8.2.04

Hello, good sir of all sirs not to be confused with a sir, which may indeed be any random person that happens to pop into your head first and foremost, of whom I do hope would indeed be myself, because I do hope this relationship that I hold with you dost indeed surpass the quality and the amount of time given and received than any other relationship held with any other person on the face of your face.

I have finally sent an email. You should be most quackingly flapperjacked. Because up till now, you have not thought about sparatic flapping swans dressed in pink. You now are the proud owner of this thought. Sha-noogies!

Forsake the frilly friends and fly to Fred's Freakarium. Here you'll fall over dead seeing the most bizarre and incensial madness even known to those in a penitentiary or incense asylum. Reeking from eternal damnation and smeltered clothes, we have available on our grounds for viewing 24-7 one of the very legions of the unspeakable place themselves! You should be most amast! Ground into soft sprinkly peppers, we took the gizzard of a snail, combined the enzymes of a hunchback whale, gouged out an eye from one of Jesus' followers, and hacked of the leg of an American in the middle-east to bring to you our unique conglomeration of Xelchingfein, a Chinese Verizon of Frankenstein. You will be smacked in the unspeakable place with madness and gladness and sadness at at the exact same point in the known space-time continuum, perfectly unaltered up to seven dimensions! NO OTHER KNOWN PLACE CELEBRATES THIS KIND OF ACTIVITY WITH SUCH EAGERNESS AND SENSITIVE SMELL SENSORARIES! We endure the worst to bring you the best, the only best from the only organization from which perfection can be demanded: the CCCC.

Go and see, smell, feel, possess, and inherit your future. What must occur? Absolutely nothing. Try and see, person. For even if one molecule of your body moves, you are still doing something. Couch potatoes burn calories. They are doing something. Figure out a way to do absolutely nothing in this known nanosecond and see if the above dost not occur.

-The Don;

****Message truncated****

The Stinge!

Avoid the trajectory of life's putrid projectiles.
Equip yourself with an inpenetrable shield.
Mount upon the revolution of the spinning wheel,
Morph your problems into opportunities.

Things these days have swept your nike shoes past the mesh of human hair, forgetting what is behind and sprinting ahead for T-Mobile's pending contract termination and hair burnination. That is, the burnination initiated from a Lysol aerosol.

You know that the spinning wheel has indeed hurled you through experiencial irrelevancy when a friend of yours says, "You, my friend, are a crowd in and of your face."

Just wait, I'll make sense of each and every pixel above. And you will be very squeezed.

Jan Ullrich. That is all I have to say.

I feel like this noble 5-time Tour de France runner-up strove to win the Tour each time,but somehow either didn't press himself hard enough or didn't equip himself with the means to win. But I know now that he tried his best, that is all we can expect from anyone. Most people don't even go this far.

But enough for my sentiments. They have their time and day, but not right now. I have too much to gain and too little to lose. I have a definite responsibility in front of me: learn time management and discipline or fall to ruin, slip into sluggish solitude, and have nothing to quench my thirst except for my own tears! Well, perhaps I speak in terms of slammitude. For when the action of slamming a face occurs, a period of recuperation in instated.

The above paints a portrait of my life without the usage of my gifts and talents through the means of discipline and character. For skill and talent alone accomplish nothing. Only the work produced through the talents accomplishes incredible feats, of which I am able, if I but apply myself.

Hey, the chicken didn't cross the road without any effort.
And even if it had the talent of avoiding large 18-Wheelers, this talent would have served to no avail if the chicken had crossed halfway and stopped, reeling from heat stroke.

Likewise many of the brightest minds wither away in school simply because they lack discipline and the ability to work hard. Ben Rudolph has much to say on a subject such as this. Your face could learn much from one who has experienced the entire breadth of the world.

I do wonder what the ole chap is up to now in this day in age, dark they have grown indeed.

Perhaps concocting a plan of world domination (the back of my neck starts to sweat).
But I can't see such a nice person being capable of such an extreme goal. But even those without the means create a means for any goal their mind so desires since the other trivial goals are accomplished with little or no energy, just a solid determination.

For no mole sees light of day when birthed underground unless they defy the very power of gravity.

The above statement serves not as a quote, but as a stupid illustration, as Paul Burton has made on few an occasion.

Sorry about the longevity of nonexistance of posts from my face and my heart, but...



I was delayed...

-The Don.

p.s. Protect your memory. Drink lots of caffeine. Shut up, Paul.

p.p.s. Paul Burton, Pittman, and Richards are the coolest guys I know except for LPatkins, who supercedes any rendition of gutteral coolness in the known universe, except of course for senor cardgage, and without exception, of course, the superuniversal coolness of the one and only BigDaddy! from which all coolness springs.