Voyage to Flwockidion

In the obliterateness of transcendent space, captain Newog’s voice champerades over the intercom:

“To all fellow Juggernauts and Frilojogs, Tenderkittens and Wallowbutts, Shnoods, Fzwoods, and of course, the bellowsome plently known as Witchken:”

“Yes”, “yes”, “yes”, “yes”, “yes”, “yes”, and “yes?”

“I have obtained a healthy piece of inheritance from the planet Chubbspit. It’s surface is molten crap! It’s atmosphere smells worse than an intergalactic commode! It’s core shakes continually, belching tumultuously and fricken frolicly! But one thing this planet has, and that is shnoogies!”

Silence.

“What! Must I explain to this hard crowd what shnoogies are?”

More silence.

“You indifferent bunch of apathetic pieces of nothingness! How much longer must I endure this band of ruffians? Your eyes are wrapped in oil-dipped torches bearing the mark of infidelity! Must I remind you why you embarked on this voyage?”

“To find out where life began” answered monotonously one of the unimpressed individuals.

“Yes indeed! And you all should know that we all came from shnoogies!”

Silence.

“But this is why you came. Your quest, your mission will be accomplished by this remarkable indivisible piece of property, containing SHNOOGIES!”

More silence.

“Fwhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat! A mere mockery this is.” The bubblesome madman now lay sprawled upon the floor, quivering in spastic sobs. With the flick of a finger he activated the viewscreen, and a reddish looking planet with green globs came into view.

“There it is! Flwockidion, the planet of excrement. But what is waste to others will be gold to us!”

Silence, accompanied by rather disgusted looks.

“Must I remind you what we came here fr…”

“Yes we know, to find out where life began. But this is just stupid.”

Insulted, Newog turned in tumult. “You blasphemous fool! Fool of a Shnood! You should know better! Fhwyyyiiiiiii! Arrggghhhhhh!”

Booooooooooooooooooom. But of course, the boom wasn’t heard, because we’re in space, you dummy.

The end.